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working writer wending her way through the labyrinth that is self-publishing

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Whine and wine

In past years January 1st has been sort of inspirational for me. I've spent the day in contemplation and setting intentions for the next year. Not so this year. A major depression has set in and several things come to mind as reasons. First of all I'm having a birthday in a week and I'm not at all happy about the age I'm turning. Second, my book will be printed very soon and then put up on Amazon--this is a good thing but the work I need to put in for marketing makes me want to crawl into a hole somewhere. I have the book, Aiming at Amazon but every time I open it I want to scream. My website designer seems to have fallen off the face of the earth and I'm realizing that she will not be helping me with things like sending out press releases and the myriad tasks that I'm not  even aware of. Should or shouldn't I have a launch party? Who would I invite if I have one? Where should it be? Do I need to design  postcards to mail out? What about bookmarks? How do I create a buzz about the book so that people want to buy it?

With my stubborn and unrelenting Capricorn nature I've worked long and hard to get this book polished and ready to go into the world but now my energy seems to be completely gone. I ask those I know who have self-published for lists of what they did and they kindly tell me and then I stare at the words with a sinking sensation. Where has my energy gone? Will it come back? What if it doesn't? I'm considering consulting a psychic. It's either that or a trip to a psychiatrist. But I don't want to see a psychiatrist...

The social media marketing thing makes me feel like crying. I'm not cut out for this. I can hear the whine in my voice even though I'm typing--don't be a baby, a voice says. I have to stop feeling sorry for myself--that's the first step. Maybe I just need to lay low until the book is truly done--spend my days working on other writing and put The Moonstone on the back burner.

Right now all I can think about is red wine.


  1. Don't forget in all the hustle and excitement that wine comes in colors other than red. You're going to be just fine. I'm sure your novel is fantastic. The details that you think are flaws aren't important, and won't interfere with our enjoyment of reading your work. Let me remind you that the Declaration of Independence has half a dozen misspellings in it and these don't slow people down at all. Try a nice glass of merlow and try and relax.

  2. thanks, Stephen--your support is very much appreciated--! Happy New Year!

  3. Hey Nikki, be gentle with yourself first - that's an important step.

    Can you give yourself just one small task a day? Chip away at the work so you don't feel so overwhelmed?

    I know you are a member of the Book Blogs social network site... can you tap into the experience there and ask for help?

    Re: your web designer... sometimes we have to let people go who are not willing to do the work we expected of them. Can you talk to another author/writer and get a recommendation for a new designer? Perhaps start with someone who did an online launch that you admire?

    Good luck and hang in there. You. Can. Do. It.

  4. Thanks so much, Tracy--all good suggestions--a friend has mentioned a publicist she used so I'll get his name...and I always forget about Bookblogs--

  5. Funny, I guess us Capricorns are in the same boat! I am struggling to think up New Year's resolutions because I don't think I can get anything done this year. I'm in a limbo too, although mine has more to do with circumstances than my own shortcomings (I hope!)

    I like Tracy's idea of just trying to accomplish one or two things each day. Get Jim to help you make a schedule!

  6. I've been thinking of social media as a marketing tool lately, and am finding that, at the beginning at least, it is a job in itself. It doesn't have to be huge, but you have to choose to do it. Didn't like twitter at first, but found #WEPromote, who teaches heart-centered marketing. She floods your feed with auto-generated quotes, but also has some useful advice and links. that might help you to feel better about this form of marketing.
    I think what you're feeling is mostly just emotional baggage on its way out. In order to move forward, we have to get our crap out of the way. Sometimes it makes some noise in the process. Usually you just go on with your business, take a short break if necessary, and it will pass. If it doesn't there are tools available that are simpler and cheaper than a psychiatrist (and you don't have to pay for all the drugs). Like EFT we've talked about, even hypnotherapy by a CHT would probably be affordable, or self-hypnosis, or just a long walk in the forest or some yoga. You'll get through this. I'm looking forward to reading your book.

  7. I think we have a lot in common--thanks for your suggestion about Twitter--I know I have to allow my intuition to take over--if something doesn't feel right, it probably isn't--at least for me...I'm definitely going to check out the #WEPromote but first I need to take my dog for a walk and clear my mind.

  8. Hi Nikki,

    Just checking in on you. Hopefully you are feeling refreshed and ready to make steps into more social media?

    In honor of your willingness to "go for it," I'd like to give you the Versatile Blogger Award! You can "pick up" your award and learn about the other four recipients here:


    Again, I hope you are feeling better! May your day (weeks/months/years) be filled with a sense of peace and clarity! :)


    PS: On Twitter I'm @mstracybrown if you would like to connect - if we haven't already. ;)

  9. I totally feel for you. I'm not a pro at marketing either, but it's a learning process. Often times you will feel like you're screaming into a void and that's when you'll think of giving up and maybe you should... but only for a week or so. Because if you don't keep on working at it, you'll forever regret it and wonder... "what if...?" The best thing I've done so far is contact fellow bloggers willing to review my book. Even if it doesn't bring me sales it's so nice to know that someone appreciates my work. Take care!

  10. Thanks Tracy and Sonia--the words of encouragement are keeping me going!!!

  11. Red wine is good. Capricorn is better. Just do what you have to. Have a tick-list, but above all remember you're a writer not a pimp - then drink some more wine

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