Reviews and critiques

Have you ever had a family member criticize your work? It is discouraging, depressing and in my mind, uncalled for. Unless they are an expert in whatever it is you're doing, they have no right to critique or judge. Why can't they just say it isn't their cup of tea?

If this has happened to you it's sometimes hard to get over it, especially if the person is someone you respect who you hoped respected you. Just remember NOT to ask what they thought of it. My problem was just that--I asked. And when I found that they didn't like it I asked why. Bad idea. Little did I know what this would lead to. First it was the 'I'll have to read again to be able to tell you', to which I replied--"if you didn't like it the first time I don't want you to have to read it again!" But they did anyway. And then we had to go through the entire thing over again a few weeks later, but this time it was even more hurtful because the person detailed what was wrong. Of course I had to defend myself, say how it had gotten an award, how many good reviews--blah blah blah...and going on to explain why I wrote it the way I did. Even now as I sit here I want to defend the book!

If the person is a writer, or an art critic, or an expert in your field, he or she has a right to say whatever they want to say--but art and literature are subjective, and what one person hates another person loves. Judgement is never good. And if it is done in a condescending way--"I was just trying to help you become a better writer" it's even worse. It can break up a perfectly good relationship--because what we do reflects on us. Especially in the art world where we are putting our very souls out for others to view. I will take a stranger's one star review over a family member's critique any day!

Keep on writing and don't let the bastards get you down! (and don't ask if they liked it or not) Everyone can be a critic but not everyone can write and publish a book.