more wine, please...

Two ocular migraines in one day is a definite first! If you aren't familiar with these, it comes with weird vision distortion so that you can't focus (all sorts of moving lightning in the peripheral vision) and ends up with a dull headache. The up side is, it isn't a regular migraine in which the headache is completely incapacitating! I cured mine today with two glasses of wine at lunch. I've come to the conclusion that a glass of wine is better than anti-anxiety medication and definitely more fun! I bought two pairs of shoes today after I administered the antidote to the migraine--would anti-anxiety medication have offered such complete abandon? I think not. Maybe with the help of the grape I can keep my nerves from spinning out of control...

The main thing that's driving me crazy is the very weird slowing down of time--normally I'm complaining about how fast time goes but this is seriously the longest couple of weeks I've ever experienced! And three more to go until we are packed up and leaving...the house has been pulled apart, boxes everywhere, and yet it's too early to get serious about packing. I've already packed several things too early and discovered a need for them--of course they are long gone, packed away in a box that is taped and stacked with at least twenty others in the basement. My daughter asked, "Why did you start this so early? I would have waited and packed it all the last week! I couldn't live like this," she added, looking around at the chaos with a frown. Well, she's 20 years younger than I am, AND an Aries with unlimited energy. But she has a point. I did start too early. But now I'm in danger of putting it all off until the last minute...

I tried today to move the shipping date up a week. (we'll see what comes of that) After all, if the house in Arizona closes on April 6th, why do we have to sit here until the 13th? And the longer we wait, the hotter it gets out there! (although it was barely 50* today, according to the weather, and they may get a frost tonight-- maybe global climate change is in our favor..).

Meanwhile I work on the last edit of book 2 and continue with marketing book 1--I've sent copies of The Moonstone off to two sci-fi fantasy magazines for review--(they may or may not review, they told me in an e-mail...but at least I tried.) I hope to get a review up on Powell's website and a blogger with over 200 followers is going to feature a review of my book on her website, (as well as a Kindle giveaway)--I'll keep you posted.

moving and what comes along with it....

These days I'm dealing with the frustrations that come with moving--not only the challenges of high estimates from moving companies but also the decisions about what to take, what to sell, and what to pawn off on family. But on top of this there has been a backlash of negative energy and lack of support from family who live thousands of miles away! Even my brother in Florida was less than enthusiastic. With the exception of my daughter, the family who live here have been circumspect in their comments. And the past day or so, even my daughter is coming around--(I attribute this to a new relationship she's started, but hey, whatever works!) I certainly understand feeling sad. I've made a lot of good friend here and I'm close to my family so it's a wrench for me as well.

I lie in bed at night processing the things people are saying, and trying to sort out what is going on with them...first it's the guilt trip about leaving people behind who to my way of thinking are old enough to take care of themselves--(and oddly this isn't coming from the ones who are being left behind) Then comes the list of venomous creatures in Arizona that, apparently, are just waiting for our arrival. According to them the place is crawling with scorpions, black widows and rattlesnakes. What about the 14 species of hummingbirds, the sandhill crane festival in Wilcox, all the other unusual bird species that reside in the Sonoran desert? And what about the magnificent Saguaros? What about embracing something new? or am I too old to do that...

This astrological time we're in now is similar to the 60's when everything got turned on its ear. I'm as surprised as everyone else that I'm leaving the place I've lived for fifteen years--leaving several family members and two grandchildren. Even writing this brings up a sliver of guilt. In the past I've loved visiting Arizona and New Mexico but didn't like the brightness and my skin didn't like the dry. I've gone on about how the wet climate up here keeps the wrinkles at bay. But on this visit my skin was fine, the sun was pure pleasure...the Catalina mountains took my attention, turning me inward to a place of silence. And those ochre mountains remain in my mind, cloud shadows racing across their peaks, their ancient crags full of magic. My husband has assured me that he will go without me if necessary! He has a sparkle in his eye as he says this and I see his younger self appear over the edge of the deep rut he's been in for several years.

The truth of it is we will be back up here for at least two months in the summer--the heat down there becomes intolerable during July and August, or so we've been told. Our RV will serve as our second home. I've already made tentative arrangements to fly my daughter and grandchildren out during the Christmas holiday...And so I ask--why is change so hard for people? I have my own answers but I would love to hear yours.