what do I want?

Yesterday I spent an hour and a half at a small local bookstore to do a book signing. One person bought a book. I realized afterward that my attitude about these sorts of things has been very negative. Was I the cause of no one stopping by my little table to at least ask me about the books? I don't know.

In all honesty hardly anyone came into the bookstore while I was there. And the e-mailed newsletter sent to those few people I actually know in Tucson did not bear fruit. As usual the marketing piece of being an author elude's me. When I speak to friends and relatives they make sympathetic sounds when I mention my lack of sales. And I wonder what goes through their minds. I figure it's something like this:
How can she be so blase` about her lack of success? Deep down she must feel like such a failure. And why doesn't she find someone to help if she can't do it herself? I couldn't  keep writing if my books didn't sell better than that. I mean, what would be the point?

Writing is the point. And putting the books out in the marketplace. I did notice a certain nasty attitude coming from some part of me before I left for Mostly Books. You know that critical little voice that wants to keep you down? I figured that the voice was there to keep me from having any expectations. And on the way I said to my husband, "I wouldn't do well with success." How's that for a self-fulfilling prophecy? Unfortunately it's true. I would hate to be surrounded with people wanting me to sign their books, or asking all sorts of questions about my process and so on...one or two are fine, but a clamoring crowd? Not for this introvert. But then I think of Van Morrison and how for years he played his music with his back turned to the audience. Eventually he got over his shyness. So, you ask, what do you want?

I want to be successful in the sense that thousands of my books are purchased. E-book or paper, it doesn't matter. I want a fan base--people that love my books and discuss them online. I want some movie producer to notice what great movies they'd make and contact me to do a contract. I want a publisher to pick them up. In short I want my success to be an arm's length away.

I write because I love to write. I think my writing is good and that my stories are compelling. Because I have a somewhat quirky outlook on the world, they may not appeal to the general masses. They tend to have convoluted plots and several pov's and one or more moral dilemmas that raise issues important to me as a human being.

I am now questioning the power of positive thinking. Spiritually, what is the proper attitude? Do I imagine my books flying off the shelf? Do I let my expectations run wild? I think I try to avoid disappointment, hence the bad attitude. But how much can I expect? I'm going to be selling books at the Book Festival in the middle of March. My spiritual self would like to keep a neutral attitude of 'whatever happens is fine', and look at the whole thing as an exercise in meditation. But deep down I want people to enjoy my books. And I want to be recognized. The success I want does not come from monetary gain--although that would definitely be a plus.  I do want success--just on my own terms.

Write on...

The difficulties I was having with my story seem to have disappeared--at least for the moment. I'm so glad to have some inspiration again and that the story is moving forward! Several elements are about to collide and lead to the conclusion, but I don't want it to happen too fast!

How I solved my dilemma, which I've spoken about in previous blogs, (if you haven't been reading it was mainly lack of focus--a meandering quality that was getting tedious) was to add another POV. This is the first time I've written in the first person but the second POV is in third. This might sound weird but the main protagonist, Gertrude/Ciara, (I'll explain the names later) needed to be protected...after all it is her story. Adding another POV solved several problems. The main one was giving the reader a chance to understand what was at work in the mind of another major character--without that we can only see the story through Gertrude's eyes and after a while her internal dialogue becomes boring if there's no corroboration for what she's thinking! Does this make any sense? Another issue was setting and timing. The main character is in one place but major things are happening in another--things that are pertinent to the story arc. So now we have two stories happening simultaneously, with the very real possibility that they will soon collide. Another dilemma that was solved was my own interest. With the addition of another POV I'm excited again, my hands typing faster than my brain can work!

Now if I could only corral what my characters do--because they are beginning to go their own ways and do things that I didn't intend. I guess it's a small price to pay for forward movement. *sigh*

How do you solve these issues? Do you usually have one POV or do you have several?

I'd love to hear your thoughts! and thanks for reading....oh, and by the way, Gertrude doesn't like her name and so when the townspeople call her Ciara she is happy to change it! (more to that story but you'll have to read it after it's published)

What to do when it's finished?

So what now? Like many of you who have finished a very long drawn out project, I'm finding myself a bit exhausted and somewhat bored. Of course marketing is taking up a lot of my time, what with tweeting every day--I overpaid for my books being listed on the askDavid site and so I had a choice--refund or 90 tweets? I took the latter and I'm glad I did--I would never have tweeted this much! and I'm beginning to understand the fascination! For those who don't know about askDavid it's worth a click.

I've been having problems with my Wordpress website and the person I thought was helping went MIA. And so my niece Megan, who does website design, put me on to a great guy--Dan Fennell, who has nearly gotten things straightened out. His prices are reasonable and he's fast! It seems that my admin access was severely limited so that I couldn't upgrade the site when it needed to be. We're moving it to another hosting site and changing that little problem. As Dan said, even if I don't want to be a web designer I should have complete access to my own website. If any of you need help with Wordpress check him out! ( I can't imagine anybody NOT needing help with Worldpress!)

The sequel is progressing slowly--it keeps heading off in odd directions and I keep trying to tame it. Guess it's better to just give it the reins and let it run and then edit later. Right now I have a ghost, a sorceress, time travel, a magical boat, norse mythology, dwarves, an evil that has yet to be determined but only comes out at night, and an ancient city that was abandoned due to pollution--oh, and a druid who is over 400 years old. So far only one POV, though--a first for me!

So how do you deal with finishing a project? do you jump right into the next one or do you rest and recuperate?

Why do we write?

What is the main reason you write? Is it because you can't not, or is it that you have something to share that you think will add value to the world? Or maybe it's a little of both and many other things combined.

I've always loved to write but also felt that what I had to say was boring, not well written or, 'you fill in the negative' blank. This still applies but in a lesser sense as I grow older. With two, almost three, self-published books under my belt I still worry that my writing isn't good enough or the stories not compelling enough but I still write them and publish them. That's the difference. My own angst doesn't keep me from keeping on, the thoughts are just a minor glitch in the process. Without these considerations I wouldn't take the time or money to get my work properly edited. PRACTICE is what improves the writing, not someone else telling you how to do it.

Everything is subjective and because of this I made an executive decision to trust my own voice. I knew for sure that if an agent picked up my book they would want to edit the hell out of the story. I wasn't willing to have my ideas  changed around to suit a fickle public according to an editor who might or might not know what was around the next corner. If I wanted my antagonist to be a Catholic priest, he was going to stay a Catholic priest. If I wanted several pov's in order to add fullness I was not about to rewrite to satisfy someone else's whim about the marketplace.

So what it really comes down to is: I write for myself. The stories weave their own way across the page and I follow them. Sometimes I need to rein it in a bit, sometimes I need to let it run wild. At the end of the day it's my choice and my creative spirit that I don't want to tamp down with 'shoulds'. The idea of writing to please someone else just doesn't compute. Of course I hope that people enjoy reading my books but I know for certain that some will and some won't.

I realized early on that the books I write are the ones I want to read and can't find. Many times when I'm writing, the process feels like reading a good book-- I don't know exactly where the writing will take me. I've had the strange experience of trying to work out in my head where I want the story to go and at the same time my fingers are typing out some completely different scenario. But I'm a 'seat of the pants' writer, not a plotter. A while ago I attempted to write a first person present mystery and ended up writing myself into a corner...mysteries need to be plotted!

So what is it that drives you to write? Are you a pantser or a plotter? Would you consider changing your story/novel to suit an agent?

POV confusion

I recently read a blog regarding the writing element of point of view (POV) in which the blogger stated that omniscient POV was lots of fun because you could be in everyone's head. When I began my book five years ago, I did what is referred to as head-hopping. This means that within the same paragraph I had more than one character's thoughts available to the reader. The main problem with this is that as a reader you want to know whose point of view you're in. Or at least I do. When my editor pointed this out I began to read extensively about POV's so I would not make this mistake again.

First lets go briefly over the different POV's a writer can employ:
1st person: 
 I started the car and pressed down hard on the gas peddle but nothing happened."Hey!" I yelled to my brother, "what did you do to the car?"
"Nothing!"
 I watched his ears turn pink, a sure sign he was lying.

Here we are in one person's head...she/he can only deduce what's going on with other characters by what she/he sees, hears, smells...etc...
1st person present:
I slip off my shoes and switch on the T.V. This day has made me cranky. I need a glass of wine. I pick up the bottle. Only a drop left. Damn! Why didn't I stop at the store!

This is a fun and immediate way to write but the narrative can go too quickly if you aren't careful.
3rd person:
He watched the line of orange disappear over the western mountains, leaving a sky the color of pewter. Soon it would be completely dark. Why had he decided to come down here alone? In the distance he saw a rider, a woman by the look of it. He cupped his hands around his mouth. "Haloo!"he called, listening to the echo bounce off the canyon walls.
A wave of her right hand told him she had heard. It was several minutes before she drew close enough to make her out. Her dark hair was tangled, matted with sticks and leaves.
"What are you doing here?" she asked in a thick accent.
His heart pounded. He knew her, why didn't she recognize him? "I...I..." he stammered, trying to collect himself.

Here we are also in one character's head. In the next chapter or even the next paragraph we could switch into her head but if we did it now it could become confusing and irritating. We want to connect with one person at a time. We want to identify with this person.

Omniscient:
The three teenage boys looked up at the sky as they made their way down the hill. It was lucky for them there had been no rain, otherwise the track would have been too slick for their light canvas shoes. When all was said and done they enjoyed each other's company despite their very real differences. In the lead was Ed, sharp-faced and an even sharper tongue. Behind him was Jake, short and heavy, a grim expression on his thug-like features. And following several paces back was Mel, the one with the gun.

In omniscient we have a story-teller. One who knows everything but is unnamed. If these boys speak to one another we can know all their thoughts because the story-teller knows. But it's very difficult to write in this POV correctly. Tolkien is a master at this, and we all recognize the fairy-tale feeling of this POV. We could have a fox looking out from his burrow commenting on the goings on...or a tree with thoughts. In this POV we look at the characters from a distance.
here is a link to a very good article on this subject: https://warriorwriters.wordpress.com/2011/08/22/deadly-sin-of-writing-5-p-o-v-prostitution/

I have not attempted to write in omniscient POV because I prefer the intimacy of 1st or 3rd person. And also because I'm afraid I would screw it up. My trilogy is in 3rd person with several different POV's separated by chapters or paragraphs. The sequel to the trilogy I've begun is in 1st person but I'm finding it limiting in some respects.

The other important thing to remember is that if you decide to switch from 1st to 3rd or vice-versa, it is  not an easy fix. You can't just change 'I' to 'he/she'. The Moonstone was originally in 1st person and I changed it to 3rd-- a LOT of work! And of course this is doubly difficult if you're employing omniscient. There are other POV's I haven't mentioned here because I don't know enough to write about them--I have written one story in 1st person present--tenses are a subject for another day!

I may have made mistakes here as I'm learning as I go. There are many articles on this subject and many with false information ...here's a link to another valuable article if you'd like to read further: http://www.the-writers-craft.com/omniscient-point-of-view.html

rules, rules and more rules!

Why has writing changed so much in recent years? why are adverbs verboten and passive voice obsolete? who decides these things? Yes, I am in agreement that the overuse of adverbs can be annoying but many times the meaning of a sentence is changed when the adverb is removed. A good "really" or "carefully" can change the entire tone of a paragraph...And many times the use of 'was' in a sentence (passive voice) is the only way to go--yes, yes, I know, used too much it becomes tedious and slows down the action. But occasionally? and the thing about POV...REALLY? is it that hard to sort through if it isn't absolutely exact? (there's that pesky adverb) For instance, if a character has a thought and it is an aside to the story and it's clear who is having this thought, why not? (separated out, of course) And yes, I know we need to understand POV before we begin to break the so-called rules.I read books all the time, well written books by published authors, who are much more lax about these issues than those of us who are newbies...and why why WHY does writing have to be so spare? If the story is a fast-paced mystery, this goes with the genre but if it is a more descriptive novel? Are we as readers really so lazy that we'll put down a book that isn't bare bones?

My editor, bless her heart, has been asking me to go into MORE detail about my characters, even peripheral ones...and she wants more background story. The book of mine she's editing is a fantasy and it is my opinion that if I add more I will lose readers--in that particular book the main plot line needs to be first and foremost.

Try picking up a book written back in the olden days (1970's, for instance) See how writers were getting their thoughts down back then...is it just the age of twitter that's doing this to us?  I would love to have your thoughts.